dumbriefing.
Welcome paddlers,
today we are not here to win. We are not even here to make a ranking. To be honest, we’re not even entirely sure why we’re here. We’re here because the river flows, the boards float (more or less), and someone decided to organize all of this.
today we are not here to win. We are not even here to make a ranking. To be honest, we’re not even entirely sure why we’re here. We’re here because the river flows, the boards float (more or less), and someone decided to organize all of this.
Remember:
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this is not a race
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there are no winners
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there will be many falls
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help those who fall
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if someone takes the wrong line, follow them
Now go out there and pretend you know what you’re doing!
dumb manifest
The competition is imaginary, safety is real.
The river is serious — we’re not… but it’s right.
Help those who fall — and maybe those who fall will help you.
Falling is strongly recommended.
Training too much is suspicious.
Every line is the right line — if you believe in it.
The stories told around the fire are worth more than reality.
On a chemical level, water is H2O; on an emotional level, it’s pure vibranium.
I’d say we’re 95% doomed… but the other 5%? That’s adventure and glory like no one has ever seen before.
Three rivers. Not a single good decision.
Valstagna Pole Dance
Brenta River – March 14-15
Ever tried to embrace a pole mid-rapid? Slalom is an acrobatic art form here. The one who nails the most gates (with their face) earns the respect and glory.
Lima Canyon Crash
Lima River – March 28-29
Narrow gorge, freezing water, rock labyrinth. It’s pinball, and you’re the ball. A flukey course where your fins’ survival is purely optional.
Soča Panic Paddle
Soča River – April 25-25
The final showdown in whitewater heaven. Emerald water, spotted only by your ruby blood. A descent where panic is king and common sense has long since left the chat out of sheer embarrassment.
DUMBPARTY
After each run, we’ll hold a memorial service for the fallen (of style) and those heroes who showed up without shame, utterly unbothered by the complete annihilation of their reputation.
Join the madness!
dumb
international
awards
No skills.
No shame.
Full glory.
Registered Participants
| Call Sign | Pole Dance | Canyon Crash | Panic Paddle |
|---|---|---|---|
| Soschito Danbuko | |||
| Captain Concussion | |||
| Martello di Thor dell'Alto Garda | |||
| Bibo | |||
| L'Om del bosc | |||
| Ciottolina | |||
| Mato | |||
| Archduke of Panick | |||
| Acquamossa | |||
| Lord of bad decisions | |||
| Baron Von Chaos | |||
| Ciccio | |||
| Free Willy | |||
| Mr. Line | |||
| EddyHunter | |||
| Alessandra | |||
| Ste | |||
| El señor Tomasso | |||
| Spillo |
Featuring
